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INTRODUCTION
Planning a wedding is one of a couple's most exciting yet stressful times. The desire to make everyone happy, from family to friends, can often lead to people pleasing, which can wreak havoc on your wedding budget. When you plan your wedding for other people, you give other people control over your wedding budget. Wondering what other people thought about my wedding tempted me to spend more than my budget allowed a couple of times. However, no one talks about the hidden costs of people pleasing on your wedding budget. Here are 8 ways people pleasing can harm your wedding finances and some tips to help you.
8 REASONS PEOPLE PLEASING WRECKS YOUR WEDDING BUDGET
1. PEOPLE PLEASING WITH YOUR GUEST LIST WILL STRESS YOUR BUDGET
The more people you invite to your wedding, the higher your expenses will be. You will need to purchase more invitations, rent more space, order more food and alcohol, and purchase more wedding favors. Inviting everyone you know, including distant relatives, acquaintances, or co-workers, can balloon your guest list. For example, if you plan to spend $100 per guest and you feel pressured to invite an additional 20 people, that’s an extra $2,000 added to your budget. The more people you invite to please others, the more expensive your wedding will be.
TIP: Invite the people who will make your wedding meaningful for you and your future spouse. Prepare a brief explanation for anyone who may ask why they were not invited. Create a guest list that suits your wedding budget and future financial goals.
2. MORE BRIDESMAIDS, MORE OPINIONS
Bridesmaids can be excellent allies for you in your wedding. However, the more bridesmaids you have, the more money you may spend to accommodate them. Choosing extravagant dresses, accessories, or experiences to please your bridesmaids, especially if they went all out for your wedding, can be financially draining. Custom dresses, expensive hair and makeup services, and luxury gifts can quickly add up. For example, a $300 bridesmaid dress instead of a $100 one for five bridesmaids adds an extra $1,000 to your expenses.
TIP: Consider a small(er) wedding party of close and helpful friends. Be prepared to say “no” to requests that don’t suit your wedding budget. Keeping it simple and affordable can make the occasion memorable without busting your budget.
3. PEOPLE PLEASING BY CATERING TO EVERYONE’S “FOOD PREFERENCES” WILL GET EXPENSIVE
Accommodating every dietary preference and palate can lead to a complex and expensive menu. Dietary restrictions that are life-threatening food allergies are not the same as nutritional preferences. Specialty dishes, multiple meal options, and high-end catering services can significantly increase your food budget. Including vegan, gluten-free, and gourmet options for a large crowd can increase your per-person cost from $50 to $75. Catering to these food preferences can explode your budget.
TIP: While it’s important to consider dietary restrictions, offering a couple of well-chosen options can be sufficient and budget-friendly. If people have food allergies or dietary restrictions, ask them to message you and discuss this with the caterer.
4. HIRING EXPENSIVE ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOUR GUESTS CAN DRAIN YOUR BUDGET
Booking high-end entertainment to impress or avoid offending your guests can be pricey. Professional bands, well-known DJs, or elaborate performances can quickly inflate your budget. A top-tier band costs $5,000, whereas a local DJ charges only $1,000.
TIP: Choose entertainment that reflects your personality and fits your budget. This is your wedding; do what is best for you.
5. VENUE UPGRADES OR ADJUSTMENTS TO IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS WILL GET EXPENSIVE
Choosing a more expensive venue or adding costly upgrades to impress guests can significantly inflate your budget. High-end venues and additional features such as lighting, décor, or special facilities can be expensive. Upgrading from a $3,000 venue to a $7,000 one due to perceived expectations adds $4,000 to your budget.
TIP: Choose a venue where the environment makes you feel comfortable celebrating your upcoming marriage to your spouse. Choosing a venue you love that fits your budget without the pressure to upgrade to impress others is essential. If people share opinions with you, prepare your response to stay true to your goals respectfully.
6. BUYING EXPENSIVE FAVORS THAT NO ONE USES CAN BE WASTED MONEY
Purchasing lavish wedding favors to impress guests can be unwise. High-end favors like custom gifts, luxury items, or personalized trinkets for your wedding that won't be remembered can be a wasted expense. Spending $20 per favor for 100 guests adds $2,000 to your wedding costs.
TIP: Opting for practical, budget-friendly favors that guests are more likely to use and appreciate can save money while still being thoughtful. The Knot has a wedding budget tracker that can help you monitor your spending. Bonus tip: Purchase items during holiday sales on sites like Rakuten to save money and earn cash back.
7. WEDDING FESTIVITIES THAT SERVE OTHERS WILL DRAIN YOUR FINANCES
Hosting additional events like engagement parties, bachelorette parties, wedding showers, wedding after-parties, or lavish rehearsal dinners to impress your social circle can quickly add to your expenses. Each extra event includes venue costs, food, drinks, decorations, and transportation. For example, an additional pre-wedding party for 50 guests at $50 per person adds $2,500 to your budget.
TIP: Have wedding parties that YOU want and are within your budget and future financial goals. People will have their opinions, but this is your life and wedding. Do what is best for you. It may be hard to say “No” to others or yourself, but do you want an extra $2,500-$5,000 for these extra celebrations on top of your wedding? Saying “No” allows you to say “Yes” to something else, like an incredible honeymoon, saving for a home, or advancing your career. Keeping additional festivities simple and within budget can help you stay on track for your future goals.
8. GORGEOUS FLOWERS YOU CAN’T AFFORD TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WILL WRECK YOUR BUDGET
Selecting high-end floral arrangements to dazzle guests can significantly inflate your budget. Premium flowers and elaborate centerpieces can be very costly. Upgrading from standard flowers and table settings to luxury options can add thousands of dollars to your expenses.
TIP: Choosing seasonal local flowers or flowers from your backyard that are elegant but budget-friendly can help you maintain a beautiful aesthetic without overspending. Or you can opt for a different focus, like candles. Unlike flowers, candles can be reused, are often cheaper, and can add a romantic flare to your wedding. My wedding planner noticed several of my wedding vision Pinterest boards included candles rather than flowers. I love flowers and would never have considered candles without her recommendation. I loved how the candles added a beautiful charm to my wedding and were much more affordable than flowers.
CONCLUSION
People pleasing during your wedding planning can lead to unnecessary expenses that strain your budget and add stress to your special day. You can create a wedding that reflects your values by prioritizing you and your partner's desires and financial goals. Remember, your wedding celebrates your union, not a performance to please others. Stick to your budget, make thoughtful decisions, and be prepared to say “no” when necessary. This approach will help you start your married life on a solid financial foundation, setting you up for a bright future together.
IN SUMMARY
Why People Pleasing Wrecks Your Wedding Budget
- Your guest list number drives your expenses. Invite the people who will make your wedding meaningful for you and your future spouse.
- With more bridesmaids, there are more opinions to please. Consider a small(er) wedding party and monitor your budget goals over bridesmaid preferences.
- Catering to everyone’s “food preferences” can be expensive. Offering a couple of well-chosen options can be sufficient and budget-friendly.
- Hiring expensive entertainment to please your guests is costly. Hire entertainment you like that is within your budget.
- Upgrading your venue to impress your guests will stress your budget. Choose a venue you love that fits your budget without the pressure to upgrade to impress others.
- Buying expensive favors that no one uses can blow your budget. The Knot can help you track your wedding budget expenses. Opt for practical, budget-friendly favors and use holiday sales and Rakuten to earn cash back on purchases.
- Wedding festivities that please others and not yourself will not help you or your budget.
- Gorgeous flowers you can’t afford to impress others will wreck your budget. Consider candles instead.
How are you going to avoid people pleasing from wrecking your wedding budget?
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