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INTRODUCTION
Marriage isn’t just about sharing a life—it’s also about sharing finances. Moving from managing money when single to combining finances as a couple is a significant shift. Whether you’re newly married or planning for your wedding, understanding how your budget changes will help you create a money system that works for both of you. Here’s what you can expect when transitioning from single to couple finances and how to navigate these changes together.
TRANSITION FROM “MY MONEY” TO “OUR MONEY”
As a couple, you’ll likely find that “my money” becomes “our money” for many expenses. In the book, “Smart Couples Finish Rich“, David Bach describes how, even as a financial planner, he and his wife struggled at first with combining finances when they married. Why? Because they never talked about money as a team before. Discussing how to use your money as a team is vital in transitioning from the “my money” to “our money” mindset. This shift requires open conversations about roles, responsibilities, and boundaries to ensure both partners feel respected and included.
Deciding whether you will have separate, joint, or blended (some separate and some joint) accounts is vital for how you use money as a team. While some couples prefer to keep separate accounts, merging finances for joint costs like rent, groceries, and savings can simplify things. Making a budget together can help you think of your money as a team so that you can set up your accounts to accomplish your goals.
ESTABLISH PRIORITIES FOR YOUR BUDGET AS A TEAM
Your financial priorities will shift after marriage. For example, I had a financial goal that I was working on for a 10-year timeline, and then one of our cars blew a tire, and we had to save more for car repairs. While you might have focused on personal goals like paying off wedding debt or career development before, marriage brings shared goals like saving for a honeymoon or investing for retirement. Agreeing on what’s most important helps you stay aligned as a team.
START PLANNING FOR YOUR NEW FUTURE
Marriage is the perfect time to think about long-term financial goals. Your goals can change when you get married. You may need a larger emergency fund, invest more for retirement, or save for a bigger house. A simplified, shared budget system ensures you’re ready for whatever life brings. Have a financial check-in where you create financial goals for the next 1, 5, or 10 years.
Discuss where you are now financially and figure out your net worth. Calculate your net worth as a couple to know where you are starting and how you can improve it for the future. You can make it a tradition to set some time together to plan your finances for the year as a financial review. Some couples like to go to a hotel for an afternoon or the weekend for this financial review. The goal is to dream as a couple and reflect on where you are and where you plan to go.
If you need help with financial planning and goals, consider the book “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” by Ramit Sethi. Learn how to live your “rich life” with this journal, which gives a step-by-step guide for managing money for your future.
ADJUST YOUR BUDGET SO THAT IT TELLS THE MONEY STORY YOU WANT
A budget isn’t just about numbers—it tells your money story. Your budget illustrates what your money is doing, how you choose to spend your money, where your money is going, and how your money works for you. Without a budget, you don’t have control over your money and your money story.
No matter your budget style preference, you need a budget to ensure your money works for you and your goals. Even tracking your expenses can reveal more about your money story than ignoring it. Start using a simple budgeting notebook to help build your budget. I used a budget planner like this one to help me stay organized when budgeting and paying off my school loans. Apps like Simplifi can help you track your net worth, expenses, and savings to see how your money works for you.
LEARN TO RESPECT EACH OTHER'S MONEY PERSPECTIVES
How you and your partner view money may differ dramatically. One might see money as security, while the other sees it as freedom. Talking about what money means to each of you reveals those perspectives and helps you create a budget that reflects your values. Talking about money with your partner helps you learn to respect each other's money differences. When discussing your finances, talk to your partner about debt and your respective credit score so that you are on the same page with how to manage debt as a couple. You may disagree with your partner’s spending choices. That’s ok if you work towards your goals, do not overspend, and avoid relying on credit cards for your lifestyle.
Money is one of the most emotional and vulnerable topics in marriage, which makes communication essential. Talk to your partner about your budget so that your money tells you a story about how it is working towards your financial goals. Regular money dates help address disagreements before they escalate. Set spending limits to avoid arguments, and check in on financial goals often.
YOUR SPENDING HABITS CHANGE WHEN YOU GET MARRIED
Now that you are married, how you spend money impacts your partner. Certain spending triggers can cause you to overspend and negatively impact your finances. If you and your partner have issues with spending in your budget, discuss these purchases and what to do in the future. One technique to help understand why you spend the way you do is the 5 Whys technique. Communication techniques like the 5 Whys technique should be considered to uncover and fix underlying issues. For example,
- Why did you spend this much on coffee every week? Because I don’t have time to make coffee in the morning.
- Why don’t you have time to make coffee in the morning? Because I run late in the morning.
- Why do you run late in the morning? Because I can’t figure out what to wear.
- Why can’t you figure out what to wear in the morning? Because I don't set out my clothes at night.
- Why don't you set out your clothes at night? Because I stay up watching TV.
The 5 Whys technique can help you uncover the root of your money problems. For the above example, you can spend less money on coffee by getting a coffee maker with a timer, setting your clothes out the night before so you have more time in the morning, or going to bed earlier. Be patient and respectful in these money conversations to see how to spend intentionally for your future.
CLEANING UP AND STREAMLINING FINANCIAL ACCOUNTS
Marriage is an opportunity to clean up your finances. Combine or reconcile accounts, pay off debt, and organize bills. You may need to close some checking or saving accounts to create joint checking and saving accounts for shared expenses. Or, you want to have a joint high-yield saving account at places like Ally, Wealthfront, or Capital One so that your money can grow faster. Review your different accounts together and adjust so things make sense for you as a couple.
Want to make your money system and budget that work for you? Automate your finances. Automate payments and savings so you can focus on building a life together rather than stressing over due dates. It puts your finances on autopilot so you can enjoy life while your money works toward your goals.
ADJUST YOUR INSURANCE TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY
If something happens to you or your partner, you want them to be cared for. Update your health, life, beneficiaries, and disability insurance to protect each other. Don’t forget to revise your wills and power of attorney to reflect your new life together. Your insurance cost may increase with marriage, but it is worth protecting your family. Consider sites like Policygenius to compare insurance prices and shop for the best deal.
BALANCING SHARED AND PERSONAL SPENDING
While joint accounts make managing shared expenses easier, allowing space for individual spending is equally important. When you make your budget, consider having dedicated amounts for each of you to have worry-free spending. These spending limits can help you keep your freedom and respect each other’s spending habits. Having personal money for hobbies or interests ensures you both feel independent while working toward shared goals.
DON’T FORGET ABOUT TAXES
When you get married, your tax situation changes, often significantly affecting your budget. You’ll need to decide whether to file jointly or separately. Joint filing usually provides tax benefits like a higher standard deduction and lower tax brackets. However, combining incomes could push you into a higher tax bracket, a phenomenon called the “marriage penalty.” These changes can impact how much money you bring home each month, so revisit your budget to account for potential savings or increased tax liabilities.
Additionally, you’ll need to adjust your paycheck withholding by updating your W-4 form to reflect your new marital status. Or, you may need to change your contributions to your retirement funds like a Roth IRA because your income has changed. If you have questions, check with your tax professional to see what will work best for you.
YOUR BUDGET HAS TO BE FLEXIBLE
The budget that worked when you were single will have to change when you are married. Some expenses, like rent or insurance, may become cheaper when combined, while others, like dining out or travel, might get pricier. Or, you may have kids, and suddenly, childcare becomes one of the most expensive items in your budget. A flexible budget helps you adapt to these changes smoothly. If you need help adjusting your finances for your future, consider getting a financial coach, planner, or fee-only financial advisor to help you on your new financial journey.
CONCLUSION
Marriage changes everything, especially your finances. Working together as a team will help you build a money system that supports your dreams and will strengthen your relationship. Let your budget tell the money story you want and get you toward your new financial goals for your family.
IN SUMMARY
How Your Budget Changes When You Get Married: From Single to Couple Finances
1. Transition from “my money” to “our money”.
2. New financial priorities as a couple.
3. Start planning for your new future.
4. Create a budget that tells the money story you want.
5. Learn to respect different money perspectives.
6. Communicate with each other about your spending habits.
7. Cleaning up and streamlining finances.
8. Adjust your insurance to protect your family.
9. Balancing shared and personal spending.
10. Don’t forget about taxes.
11. Be prepared to change your budget to adapt to life changes.
How has your budget changed since you've been married?
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